I am a new mom and totally, madly, and deeply in love with my daughter. I am a romantic and more often than not I express my feelings singing songs, mostly to my husband. In our almost 3 year old wedlock, my husband also reciprocates the same lovey-dovey feelings using same singing method (mostly when high….#tight lip smile#). So recently, I am giving morning massage to my daughter and Mr. Husband is getting ready for office and there is a playlist playing in the background and the song goes like….. daudhte hai khwaab jinpe, raasta woh tu lage….neend se hai khwaab ka jo vaasta woh tu lage…. . My husband comes out of the bathroom and says to me….Div, now every song feels like it is for Her (our daughter Karunnya). Me, being a mom, trust me when I say being a mom, it literally means my love for her obviously knows no boundaries. For God’s sake I took 17 hours of labour pains and a normal delivery to meet her…phew. Still, I got so jealous that immediately I responded in negative, “What are you saying Kabeer? Aisa thodhi hota hai….and earlier you used to sing this song for me.”
Kabeer kissed her on forehead and we both continued doing our work. Days passed and now my daughter is three and a half months old. Last night we resumed our favourite pastime before we had a baby, driving and listening to music. This time, however we were with her. As usual, there is a playlist playing in the car and the song goes like, ……dil taennu de baithi, khabar tu le se rahi, karna ae beparwahiyaan……. I am holding her in my arms and singing this song for her. She frequently smiles at me and pushes her legs whenever while singing I bring her close to me. She is listening to me as if she understands the meaning of the song. Her eyes shiny bright and hands fisted folded together.
After a while another song plays……dil mein teri yaad basi tu samjhega nahin….jo hai mere paas hai tera, mera kuch nahi……..and as the car stops for red light, I realize I am again singing for her, while rubbing my nose against hers. While she is enjoying, trying to grasp my lips as the words change their shape, my lips expanded into a ‘realization moment’ smile and I acknowledged that life has changed and this change is for good. I realized that the first time I did not appreciate what my husband said was because of fear. The fear that the love of husband and wife takes a backseat when the baby arrives. The mother takes over the role of a wife and the responsibilities of fatherhood takes away the adventure of a husband. This made me think that it was never the fear of being parents that stopped me from ackowledging the fact that my husband thinks of her on every song but it is the fear of forgetting what we as a couple were. Yet this transition from just a ‘couple’ to ‘parents’ has happened, so unknowingly, naturally, and quickly that I have failed to even notice it. However we have not seized to be that lovey-dovey couple. Rather our love has taken a face now and such a beautiful one my God!-Karunnya.
Another song is playing in the background like a summary of my feelings….and I am happily singing to her, surpassing my fear….dancing with her…… jo na karna tha kar gayi, main bhi kit jaake mar gayi…achchi khasi jatni changi…ghani baanwri ho gayi…..main ghani bawri ho gayi…. Finally every song is for her…..every song is a depiction of our love.